Taste Like Butter
by Styrofoam-Thoughts
Summary: this is a parody of Seinfeld Season 9 episode 1:The butter shave where Kramer over cooks himself sunbathing with butter. this is a Kramer/Jerry/George m/m/m Fanfiction with cheesy gay smut. If this type of Fanfiction isn't your cup of tea please feel free to find another...enjoy


**I do not own Seinfeld or have any dealings with the show. This is pure Fanfiction parody...Enjoy**

 **Taste Like Butter**

 _Music_

[ Boom boom,

blip boom,

dip do boobly

bop - pop! ]

"Why's my door unlocked, who's in my apartment? I swear if any of my superman collectibles have been stolen...

there'll be hell to pay!" Jerry said his face red with anger.

 _Jerry, only suspected one or two people brazen enough to enter his apartment without asking. Kramer or his archenemy Newman. Seinfeld stood at the door hesitant to enter...so pissed he had to catch his breath. And if it was Newman well...lets just say there would be repercussions._

" Who's in my apartment!? You have till the count of 3 to show yourselves 1-2 last chance!" Jerry looked to his right and saw someone raided his fridge and cabinets milk and cereal were strewn about without care...he had a good suspicion but still wasn't sure.

"3! Alright Newman, Kramer?"

"I'm in here Jerry, it's bad its really really bad! You gotta help me Jer...I'm cooked."

"Kramer, I should have known it was you! My kitchens a mess...and what are you doing back there? Come out this instant Kramer I'm not cleaning this up...This ends here mister!" Jerry said balling his fist up ready to explode.

"Jerry - Jerry, you gotta help me I can't move!"

 _Jerry looks around and hesitantly Walks towards the bedroom when he hears footsteps behind him. He couldn't believe his eyes. It was Newman._

"oh, ummmm Jerry, is Kramer around? I have his..."

"Hello _Newman_ , You have what for Kramer?" Jerry says with arms folded and snarling his nose.

"Kramer's ointment... for his. Kramer come out here Jerry's about to kill me."

"His what Newman?"

"Here Jerry, give this to Kramer it's for his sunburn... Good day _Seinfeld._ " Newman said, as he threw the ointment to Jerry and stumbling out the apartment in fear of Seinfeld.

"Kramer, you're in my bed and you got it greased up with... what's that smell, butter? you're naked in my bed covered in butter... Kramer, up now... move it! This is outrageous!"

 _Jerry was quite a 'germaphobe' and was very picky about almost everything. The thought of Kramer buttered up naked on his sheets would usually give him a panic attack._

"Jerry, I can't move I'm covered in butter and burnt... Jerry I'm cooked... I'm cooked. I'm more meal than man. Don't look at me Jerry."

"Well...Kramer, you don't look half bad and you smell - ell delicious, mmmm." Jerry said while licking his lips.

"Jerr - Jerry, what are you doing?,

Why are you looking at me like I'm the last drumstick on a Thanksgiving turkey? You're seriously freaking me out Jerry... whoa!"

"You look delicious, I just gotta have a taste! give me a taste!" Jerry says as he thrust himself upon Kramer.

"Oh my God Jerry, you're eating me alive! oooh, Jerry, that's starting oh yeah Jerr thats the stuff." Kramer, couldn't believe his best friend Seinfeld was basically giving him a tongue bath from toes to nips.

"Oh God Kramer, you taste so good. So damn delicious." Jerry said as he moved his greedy mouth down to Kramer's crotch.

 _As Seinfeld devoured Kramer's manhood he couldn't believe what he was deep-throating. Jerry thought to himself. 'My God! Kramer's hung like a hustler or a pimp... this mans packing a good 9 inches.' He always wondered deep down why Kramer was so good with the ladies Kramer wasn't just cursed he was also blessed with one hell of a cock._

"You're so damn big Kramer, your balls belong in soup and your cock is a main coarse. I could eat your ass like left- overs." Jerry growled before he slid his mouth back down Kramer's shaft.

"Jerry, you're an animal buddy! slide you're finger in me." Kramer said as his eyes rolled back in his head.

 _Jerry Seinfeld pulled Kramer out of his mouth, and began kissing Kramer's thighs then finally taking his hungry tongue to Kramer's tight opening and slipping it in._

"Oh Jerry,oh Jerry! Go at it buddy boy... OH YEAH...BAH!" Kramer said in ecstasy as he dug his fingernails into Jerry's curly hair.

"Jerry... Jerry, what's going on? I need to talk to you...you left your apartment door open, and do I smell butter... are you eating in bed Jerry?"

"George, is that you?... it's not what you think give me a minute... give me a minute!" Jerry said frantically trying to straighten himself up.

"Oh no Jerry, if you got food in there I'm coming in... George is hungry!" George Costanza said speaking of himself in the 3rd person, something he did quite often.

"No!"

"Hey Jerry, why is Kramer covered in what smells like butter naked in your bed?... and um Jerry, you gotta little grease on your (puts his finger to Jerry's mouth and taste the butter.) right there. Not bad... and I wasn't kidding I'm hungry and since you're filling your face, well, I want a little if you know what I mean." George says as he removes his glasses leans in and slides his tongue on the side of Kramer's neck.

"You ok with this George, wanna make it dinner for 2? I don't mind sharing... Kramer's delicious he's quite his pre-cum is quite refreshing."

"Damn right, screw the diner! George is chowing down, eating like a king!"

 _Jerry and George took turns indulging in Kramer's tasty buttered flavored body, and even sliding their tongues on opposite sides of Kramer's massive throbbing shaft. For almost an hour they tasted every part of Cosmo Kramer and he took their senses out of this galaxy._

"Oh God oh God, guy's I'm about to explode here!" Kramer screamed as Jerry twisted his mouth and tongue around the top of Kramer's swollen purple cock-head... tasting the pre-cum beading out of it.

"hotchi-momma!" Kramer hollered as he burst into Jerry's mouth."

"Share the wealth Jerry... George wants a taste!" George says as he removed his tongue out of Kramer's moist entrance.

 _Jerry and George both teamed up on Kramer's bursting dick-slit savouring his massive load._

"My God George, this is better than an after dinner junior mint it's quite refreshing."

"You don't have to say that again just don't tell Elaine... Kramer this is just between us." George says right before he gives Kramer a long deep kiss. while stroking Kramer's massive flaccid hustler meat, also staring at Jerry licking his chest and playing with Kramer's nipples.

"George, Jerry, we have a problem."

"what problem?" Jerry hissed not wanting to stop.

"That Jerry." George said with a look of terror on his face, Putting his glasses back on.

"Hello _Seinfeld_ , room for one more?"

"Newman!"

"Now, this is outrageous! Get out of my apartment _Newman!_ " Jerry shouted pointing his finger to the sky.

"Save me! Jerry, George, Elaine... _anybody?_ Oh God I'm done for... I'm cooked!"

"Hehehehe Kramer, you thought you could hide this secret you forgot I deliver your _mail._ you'll no longer share yourself with the likes of _Seinfeld and George Costanza,_ now your ass belongs to _Meeee_... move it Seinfeld I've dreamed of this for years. Hahahaha!" Newman said maniacally before finally feasting on Kramer's savory ass, with George and Jerry cringing turning their heads from sight of, as Jerry put it 'The horror'.

 _music_

 _[ bip boom,_

 _boom boom_

 _dip doop boobly_ _boop boop!_

 _shew shew sha_ _shew shew sha. ]_

 **The End.**


End file.
